Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Unpredictable

My life is sooo unpredictable, I didn't even try to really plan everything. I don't have a nice long term plan, a great answer when an interviewer ask me the question, "Where do you think you'll be in the next five years?" I usually just answered the question with any imaginative thing that happened to be in my mind that time.

I never plan where my career will take me, and I never plan how long will I stay in a particular job. I decided to jump into journalism world right after I graduated from college without any serious thinking. What I know was, I like writing, and journalism seemed like a good option. So I took the opportunity.

And when I decided it's time to move on and continue my study, I didn't really make a long list of my dream schools around the world, I just came to a studying abroad exhibition, falling in love with a particular program in the Netherland, and next time I know, I already did the tests and interviews, and ready to go.

So that's how I live my life. Just do whatever my guts told me, and try to enjoy it. Not without any regrets, of course. Sometimes when I think back of the older times, I wondered whether I will take a different path if I was given the chance.

When I got married, lots of my friends asked me the why question. Why do I want to get married, and why with this guy? And to tell you the truth, I don't have the right answer. For me, it's just about the time. I felt really comfortable to do it, and I ready to face all the consequences.

So when everybody keep asking me when will I have kid, I don't have many choices but to answer, I don't have any idea. I guess it's good to just wait a little bit, especially when my doctor told me that it might not gonna be easy, concerning my health history. So I think this time I will try to make a good plan, at least until everything and everybody (including me) is ready for that.

And just like that, one day, it happened. The two red lines in the test pack showed that I really couldn't plan anything. It's happening, we're having a baby!!!

But despite the fear and anxiety... I felt wonderful. This is really happening. The unpredictable, again, appearing in my life like a drop of rain in the middle of summer. It's very surprising, but it's a blessing.