Monday, November 21, 2005

Bad Mood

Sometimes I just can't understand me. There are times that I feel so low, so gloomy, so dark, as if nothing wonderful could happen in my life.

Tonite is one of those times. I just want to be alone, I just couldn't get the jokes my housemates told me, I just want to hear the saddest song in my MP3 list, I just want to push everyone away from me, I just feel like I couldn't do anything right...

And as I wonder about my feeling, my memory bumps into something. Meeting I had with friends a few hours earlier, the way they treated him, the jokes they'd made about him, the worse things they said to him...

And suddenly I realize..I hate it when people do such things to him...Why cant they see him the way I see him? How come they just make fun of him?

And the biggest shock hit me. Why should I care about him so much? Why should I feel bad because of something that maybe he didn't even care?

The answer caught me right away. Because he means a lot to me. Now. Damn...

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