Twenty Twelve

This year is one of the toughest years in my life, in terms of finance, parenting, relationships, even work. I lost a beloved aunt, almost been kicked out from our previous apartment, and had a very challenging moments with my son. Who knows being a mom of a 3 years old boy could be so difficult and dramatic? Who knows that 4 years of marriage left you with more bitterness and dull routines? And who knows that 3 years at the same office (the longest record I have so far!) could define the word "bored" into a new level?

Well.. I didn't know all of that stuff. But now I learned my lessons =D

It's not about the situation - challenging kid, flat relationship or bad financial situation. I can't even blame my boss for my so-called unhappiness at work.

It's about my attitude. And how I deal with things.

The biggest problem in 2012 is the way hope was slipped from my grip. The way giving up seemed so easy for me. The way walking out from the hard reality and never faced it bravely became the only solution I knew. The way I compared other people's life with mine, with increasing jealousy and hatred every day. The way I coped with life with so much bitterness.

This year is indeed tough. But I'm sure it's not only for me. And I don't want to be one of the losers who will give up with the hard times. I want to keep my hope, grip it hard and put it in my heart. I want to be back in the game of love - not only with my husband and son, but with everyone who shares their life with mine. I want to face my problems bravely - not walking away or hiding behind somebody else's back.

I want to live my life. Just like I did for many years before.

And I want to welcome 2013 with a different spirit.

How about you?